Learning His Lessons
by Viv1
Summary: Angel and Cordelia have decided that they should continue with their unique brand of 'friendship'. But what does that mean? Sequel to 'The Colour of Her'. Complete.
1. Part One

Learning His Lessons ****

Learning His Lessons

By [Viv][1]

RATING: PG-13  
  
ARCHIVE: Please contact me first! Mostly I'm going to agree.  
  
DISCLAIMER: All characters on 'Angel' and 'Buffy: The Vampire Slayer' that appear in this story are owned soley and exclusively by Mutant Enemy, Inc, Twentieth Century and Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt, Kuzui Enterprises, etc.  
  
SUMMARY: Angel and Cordelia have decided that they should continue with their unique brand of 'friendship'. But what does that mean?  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is set about 6 months after 'There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb'. Buffy has died but she has been resurrected (thereby bypassing Angel angst). Fred is there but since I haven't seen anything past Over The Rainbow I can't write her too well.  
  
This is a sequel to my other story 'The Colour of Her'. I just couldn't leave it at that ... I want Cordy and Angel to be happy dammit! And the feedback really decided for me that there should be a sequel!

> *~*~ **Part One **~*~*

> Wesley sauntered through the double doors of the Hyperion whistling a tuneless melody. The former watcher and current head of Angel Investigations was in a brilliant mood despite the fact that it was Monday morning - the beginning of what promised to be another demon ravaged week. He had spent the past weekend relaxing and indulging in his favourite past times - reading up on his other great interest ancient history, and going out on the town with a couple of old university chums from Oxford. All in all, the incipient boredom and frustration brought on by the inactivity of the previous week had been well and truly dispelled. 

> "Wesley, stop." Cordelia looked up from her perch on the counter without bothering to greet the Englishman. 

> "Good morning Cordelia." Wesley greeted her happily. "I trust you had a satisfactory weekend?" 

> Cordelia eyed him suspiciously before returning to her perusal of the Vogue in front of her. "You sure looked like you got some." 

> "What?" Wesley was momentarily startled out of his happy mood by her directness. No matter how long he had been around Cordelia, the former May Queen never failed to surprise him with her candour. Despite his strict English upbringing and his even stricter Watcher training, he nevertheless quite enjoyed the sensation. Kept him on his toes, so to speak. 

> He stared at her as she grinned devilishly. "Gotcha!" 

> Wesley's face broke back into his previous smile as he acknowledged her mastery. She definitely had the knack of keeping him on his toes. 

> "And how was _your_ weekend?" He asked seriously as he put his satchel on the counter. He hoped that contrary to her declaration on Friday afternoon, she had actually found the time and opportunity to unwind by going out. 

> Wesley had noted the change in Cordelia's social habits in the past year with some apprehension. It wasn't that Cordelia couldn't be happy staying home with Dennis relaxing with a good book, it was just that he knew, deep down, that Cordelia's bright and infectious personality naturally made people gravitate toward her. There was something innately lively about the beautiful brunette in front of him, and for her to not be surrounded by life and fun seemed profoundly unnatural. So unnatural in fact, that for the past few months Wesley had more and more openly pushed her to relax and go out more. Cordelia was a social creature, and she needed to go out on more social engagements. 

> "It was fine." Cordelia kept her tone light as she delved once more into the magazine in front of her. What else could she say? Yes Wesley I actually went out to a really nice restaurant on Friday night. I had a really fun time at Santa Monica Pier and then I went on a Ferris Wheel for the first time since I was ten and loved it. And then on Saturday I had dinner again, at my place with take out and had a video fest, and Sunday night? Well, that was spent on a little road trip to Malibu and I stayed on the beach practically the whole night, and it was the most coolest, most romantic night _ever_. 

> And oh by the way, I did all that with Angel. 

> Cordelia shook her head mentally as she imagined *that* conversation. Yeah, right. 

> Wesley looked at appraisingly. "Really?" He paused, careful to frame his words carefully. "What did you do?"

> "Geez Wesley, would you quit the twenty questions already?" She used all her acting skills to squeeze out a glare at his intrusive questioning in order to cover up her almost uncontrolleable need for perpetual smiling. Damn, how was she going to act all normal around Fred and the guys when she had to put in _this_ much effort to _not_ smile?

> Damn that vampire with a soul for making her this abnormally happy. Damn her extremely gorgeous, sensitive, 'you just want to rip his clothes off with your teeth' best friend vampire with a soul. 

> Cordelia walked to her desk in a pretended huff as Wesley backtracked. "Well, no ... I just worry. About you I mean. I've known you reasonably long, and I know ... well ..." 

> Cordelia's expression softened as she listened to the genuine concern in Wesley's voice. She couldn't just leave him hanging like that, could she? 

> "Wesley, I know you guys worry over me, and I'm ... I'm grateful for it." She smiled as she looked into his intelligent eyes. "Actually I really ... I mean, it's the first time in my life I've had people looking out for me. But I'm good ..." She paused, knowing she was going to walk a very thin line with her next phrase, "In fact, I went out during the weekend. With a friend ... whom you don't know. Not that you would, I mean in a city of ten million, what are the chances that you'd know my other ... friends?"

> Wesley immediately smirked, intelligent enough to detect the slight lilt of unusual happiness in Cordelia's voice. "Oh really? It was a date." He stated matter of factly. 

> Cordelia wacked him on the arm. "None of your business, buster." 

> He continued to smirk for an instant longer but decided it was rather unfair for him to continue his line of questioning. He was happy for her. There was a genuine sparkle in her eyes this morning that he had failed to detect in his unusually good mood. And she seemed more relaxed than she had been the past few months. He wished he could thank whoever she had spent the weekend with for releasing this much tension out of Cordelia's lithe frame, and for making her resemble the happy and carefree creature he had first known. 

> Wesley's train of thought was interrupted by the sound of Angel stomping down the stairs, the vampire's face taking on an unusually healthy expression as he spied the presence of Cordelia and Wesley. In fact, Wesley could bet his winnings from his next darts game that Angel was actually smiling. Not just smiling, but he was grinning like an idiot school boy. What the hell was going on here? 

> "Ah, morning Angel. You're up early." Wesley commented casually as the vampire made his way to their office area. 

> Angel stuck his hands into the pockets of his black pants, studiously keeping his casual demeanour. "Morning Wesley. Cordelia." He looked briefly at Cordelia and smiled brightly as she smiled back, but clamped himself down when he saw Wesley's inquiring expression fall onto him. 

> "You look awfully happy this morning Angel." The former watcher paused. "Are you all right?" 

> Angel's eyes darted fleetingly around the office before returning Wesley's penetrating gaze. "Ah ... yeah." He paused. "I'm not evil. I'm happy. Imperfectly happy, which is great, I mean, for you guys." 

> Wesley raised his eye brows but made no reply. He was getting increasingly curious at Angel's behaviour, but he knew it would be useless to push the obviously reticent vampire. 

> Angel glanced furtively at Wesley who seemed to return to his perusal of the morning paper. Damn this was hard. He didn't know why he was acting so jumpy in front of Wesley. After all, why was he even trying to keep this a secret? So he and Cordelia went out a few times ... in the space of a few days. So what? This was a good thing and besides, they were both adults. They could do whatever they wanted. And what business was it of theirs anyway? And ... 

> Angel felt agitated at himself. He felt fidgety and jumpy, and that was never good. It wasn't good for the control thing. He had enough on his plate as it was. He had to keep his demon in control. He had to keep his emotions about Cordelia in control. He had to keep his behaviour around Cordelia when the others were around in control. How much could a single vampire handle?!

> Control issues much? 

> Angel almost screamed at himself in frustration. He had spent so much time with Cordelia in the past few days he was even beginning to _sound_ like her! Not that that was a bad thing ... at least, the spending a lot time with Cordelia part. 

> "Angel!" Momentarily startled by Wesley's exasperated shout, he accidentally tripped over himself as he tumbled backwards, landing ungracefully on his back. 

> "Damn Angel, you get lessons doing that or what?" Gunn's voice floated through to Angel as he quickly scampered off the floor. 

> "Gunn." Angel acknowledged his associate as he adjusted his shirt. He had to work on the running himself into the furniture thing. Especially in front of Cordy. 

> Gunn looked around as he made a beeline for the coffee machine. "Where's Fred this morning?" 

> "She called early saying that she was going to visit the campus again. See if she can get back to doing the physics thing." 

> "Huh." He paused as he absorbed the news, waiting for the coffee to drip. "Good for her." 

> "Yeah." Cordelia sighed as she settled back onto her chair, absently staring at the brightly flashing screen in front of her. "Must be nice to, you know, do the college thing." 

> "But you like it here, right?" Angel tried to keep the anxiety out of his voice. "I mean, with ... us. I mean, obviously not with the visions, them being so painful and all, but ..." he looked at her hopefully. 

> Cordelia grinned at him, her brilliant eyes sparkling with energy. "Oh yeah. Those painful, utterly debilitating visions? Yeah, course I love 'em. What insane girl wouldn't?" She paused as she refreshed her screen. "But I got to admit, this job does have its perks." She grinned impishly at Angel raising an eyebrow suggestively, who took a moment to absorb the fact that she was actually referring to him. 

> Was she referring to him? She must be, right? What with the smiling and the intense ... 

> He swallowed. He had to snap out of this. He wouldn't be able to function properly today if he kept thinking about Cordelia. He dragged his mind back to the conversation taking place in front of him. 

> "Yeah well, don't know about the rest of you, but give me a good dusting any day. All them books? I like learning as much as the next guy," he looked over at Wesley as he corrected, "well, as much as the next all-American red-blooded non-English watcher guy, but give me action any day." He sipped his coffee. "Preferably with a heap of bad ass weapons." 

> Wesley smiled at Gunn's friendly jibe. "Yes, well. I thoroughly enjoyed my time at university. All the books," he looked pointedly at Gunn, "walking through the hallowed halls of Oxford, absorbing the centuries of excellence and learning ..." 

> "Ah ... guys?" Cordelia interrupted softly as Wesley continued. 

> "... And the scones were absolutely marvellous." Wesley paused to savour the memory of well buttered scones heaped with jam. "Absolutely --"

> Cordelia's body suddenly convulsed dramatically as Angel raced to her side. Her head began to be filled with a kaleidoscope of images, each racing through her mind with such intensity and speed it almost knocked her unconscious. Out of the sudden haze induced by the mind-racking visions, Cordelia picked up on a few key images and feelings - a strange demon with horns ... a mountain ... no, it was a guy wearing a green shirt ... some, no make that a *lot* of blood ... a street sign ... 

> And God, a small kid. She was scared, so scared ...

> Cordelia whimpered as she reeled her head back, the last vestiges of the vision clearing enough for her to formulate coherent words. She slowly opened her eyes to find Angel's chocolate dark ones boring down on her with intense worry. She felt his arms close in around her frame and for a brief, insane moment in the midst of her urgency she revelled in the position. 

> She smiled ruefully as she struggled out of Angel's protective embrace. "Ouch." Cordelia sat up as she gingerly touched her cheek that seemed to have collided with the edge of the desk. She took a moment to gather her thoughts into an understandable coherency before beginning to describe her vision, urgency colouring her strained voice. 

> "Okay. Big bad demon ... thing. I don't know what kind it was. It was ... big." Wesley helped her to her feet. "Oh, it had some horny things." She paused as she revisited the images swirling maniacally about in her head. "I think it uses it to fight. And there's a girl ... a little girl ... I think her dad's dead. He's wearing a green shirt." Cordelia paused as she fought back a wave of nausea which threatened to engulf her. "I think she's hiding underneath her dad ... I could smell the blood."

> Angel lowered his eyes to hers. "Where are they Cordy?" 

> She struggled through the wave of images, replaying them frame by frame. "Downtown ..." She looked up suddenly. "Behind Union Station." 

> "Right." Wesley kicked into action mode as he began to distribute weapons to Gunn and Angel. "We'll need to hurry. Angel?" 

> Angel tossed his car keys to Wesley who deftly caught it. "Pick me up out back."

> Wesley nodded grimly as he and Gunn ran out of the sun drenched lobby, leaving a pair of swinging doors in their wake. 

> Angel ran to grab hold of his jacket before he stopped by Cordelia's side, one hand automatically finding its way to caress her cheek. He hated having to see her in this pain. Although she had assured him time and time again that she didn't blame him for being the lucky recipient of the visions, it made his heart ache to see her in so much pain. Not just the physical pain which was bad enough by itself, but the emotional pain that was such a part and parcel of the visions themselves. What Cordelia had to see, to feel, to hear and touch and smell every day because of those visions ... sometimes he didn't think he could stand it. How could life be so cruel? Cordelia was so young, and she hadn't done anything wrong. Was it really because she had been unlucky enough to work for him that she was now being condemned to this pain? 

> Through her haze of already intense vision-induced agony Cordelia could almost feel Angel's now customary regret and anger at having to see her in this condition. She knew that despite all her ranting and raving, he still to some degree blamed himself for her visions. Especially when he was on hand to see her in its aftermath. 

> "Angel ... it's not your fault." Her eyes welled up with suspicious moisture as she met his painfully steady gaze.

> He leaned down and surprised both himself and her by planting a light kiss on her lips. "I know. But I just wish ..." He shook off his train of thought. "I'll be back soon Cordy. Get some rest." 

> She smiled tearfully at him as he spun around and disappeared out of her view. Her fingers brushed her lips where he had kissed them and sighed. She tried not to dwell on the fear of the little girl from her vision, and her mind obediently swung to another budding trauma - Angel. 

> She knew that they had promised to remain 'friends', free from the curse issue and its related traumas, but she didn't know if she could realistically keep it up. The past few days ... well, nights spent in Angel's company had been some of the happiest of her life, but she didn't know whether she could be content with just that. With just spending time with him, with light kisses here and there knowing that there could never be more. 

> Cordelia sat down onto the lobby steps and leaned her aching head against the pillar. She had felt really good with Angel during the weekend, insulated from the cares and worries of her everyday existence. But now sitting down in the Hyperion in the wake of a vision, she realised that life would not be as simple as that. She and Angel had to find a way of juggling their feelings, their wants and desires with the practicalities of their daily existences.

> Cordelia shuddered inwardly. Because if they didn't -- there would be hell to pay. In the most literal sense of the word. 

(c) Vivian Ngan July 2001

   [1]: mailto:vivngan@iname.com



	2. Part Two

lessons2 ****

Learning His Lessons 

By [Viv][1]

> *~*~ **Part Two **~*~*

> Cordelia sighed as she grabbed her book off the kitchen counter top and settled down comfortably into her well-worn couch, wrapping her legs underneath her lithe frame. Today had been a tough day owing to the vision express that had collided inside her head, but she had managed to get through it. She had briefly taken care of the little girl Angel, Wesley and Gunn had managed to save and had delivered her into the worried arms of her mother. Although it had been really good to save the girl, Cordelia couldn't forget the look of utter despair and heartbreak on the face of her mother when she had come to collect her daughter. The look that told the whole world that she had just lost someone central to her being - her husband. 

> Today had been the first time it had really hit Cordelia. That one day, _she_ may have that look on her face. If Angel died ...

> She shook herself mentally and tried to concentrate on her book. She didn't want to be overtaken by melancholy thoughts tonight. She didn't want to brood. She didn't want to feel the utter badness that seemed to have pervaded her mind and the numbing ache in her head care of her wonderful, debilitating visions. She wanted to feel good, and nice. 

> She wanted to see Angel. 

> Cordelia sighed again. What the hell was she on? She had seen Angel every night for the past few nights, and surely there was such a thing as overdosing on luscious, salty goodness? Had things changed that much that she couldn't deal with _one_ night on her own? 

> Get a grip Chase, she chastised herself.

> There was a tentative knock on her apartment door and for a fleeting, incoherent moment she wished it was Angel. The thought was pushed away as she thought about the absolute ridiculousness of it - it was fantastic and glorious enough that record breaking broody boy had spent three continuous nights with her ... but a fourth straight night? 

> Yeah right. 

> She opened the door to find Angel, smiling like an idiot. 

> "Angel." What the heck was he doing here? Not that she was in a hurry to complain or anything. 

> "Cordy." He continued to grin at her as he produced two bags loaded with stuff. 

> "What's all this?" Surprise coloured Cordelia's voice. 

> His gaze fell onto the two bags as he began somewhat sheepishly. "Ah ... can I come in?"

> "Sure." As if Cordelia had any choice in the matter. A handsomely gorgeous two hundred and forty-eight year old Angel standing at her very door and she wouldn't let him in? 

> He set the bags onto the table as he took off his leather jacket. "Are you okay? I mean, not too tired?" She shook her head. "What about vision aftermaths?" His voice dripped with concern. "Is your head hurting ... much?" 

> Cordelia shook her head again as she ran a hand over her tired eyes. "Not ... not more than usual." She looked up to find him scrutinising her, his eyes filled with worry. "Not your fault." 

> He smiled, faintly amused that she had managed to read his mind. "Okay." He paused as he started unloading the bags' contents. "But I ... I thought I should try to make you feel better. Or maybe distract you with ... stuff." 

> "Distract me?" Cordelia smiled suggestively as her mind raced with indecent possibilities, her eyes involuntarily roving over Angel's impossibly well constructed, finely chiselled body. What did he have in those bags? Handcuffs? Maybe that chocolate body paint? Not that she really ever thought of covering every nook and cranny of his smooth, marble like skin with chocolate and then licking ...

> Her eyes met his amused ones as he caught on to her train of thought. She felt the blood rushing to her face as she blushed madly. Control ... she had to control herself damn it. 

> "Ah ... no. Not that." Angel shifted uncomfortably, glad that the table was conveniently covering his more obvious parts. Think Angelus thoughts, he repeated to himself. 

> Angelus thoughts. Killing. Maiming. Torturing. Some more killing. And then the blood sucking. Hmmm. 

> His mind shifted back to the present as the sheepish smile returned to his features. "Um ... I thought ... you know, you could use some company. And food, I brought food. To help you feel better ..." 

> She was touched, genuinely touched. He had obviously gone to the grocery store and actually did the shopping thing, and to Angel that was like climbing Mount Everest. She was touched that he would even go to so much trouble for her. 

> "Wow. Thanks." She looked over at the contents of the bag, picking one up randomly. "You brought me chicken soup?" She asked, puzzled.

> His face contorted into one of helpless, puppy-eyed confusion. "I wasn't really sure what to bring, seeing as I'm, you know, not human. I figured that in movies people bring soup when the other person is feeling sick so I brought soup ... but I didn't know whether you were feeling sick per se or just _down_." He grabbed a tub of ice cream from one of the bags. "But I thought, hey if you don't feel sick you'd like ice cream ... maybe ..." He smiled. "Girls like ice cream I know that much, I mean, I'm not _completely_ ... You like ice cream, right?" He trailed off anxiously. 

> "You are the sweetest vampire in the world ... Well, you know what I mean." She kissed him soundly on the cheek before laughing into the crook of his shoulder. "And boy do we love ice cream." She grinned as she eyed the other bag closely, her excitement building like a little girl's. "What else is in there?" 

> He smiled as he reached in. "Well, I noticed the other night you were out of coffee, so ..." He produced a packet of finely ground beans. "And you had no milk ... you know, for your coffee. So I bought milk." 

> Her brown eyes were expressive as she stood in the middle of her apartment, speechless at Angel's thoughtfulness. She couldn't ever remember another time in her life that someone had cared enough about her to notice these small, tiny details about her life. Her heart was so full at that moment she couldn't utter a sound, even if her life had depended on it. Which was great that it in fact didn't. 

> Angel continued, racing through the list of items he had gotten for her. He felt increasingly ridiculous for having put so much time and energy into this. It seemed a bit much. Obsessive, even. Maybe he was scaring her? He knew that he was scaring himself, frightened at the lengths he knew he would go to in order to make Cordy feel better. It could get dangerous, couldn't it? 

> "And ..." He reached for the last item inside the bag. "I ah ..." How could he put this without coming off too obsessed? "I thought you'd like to watch a movie ... if you weren't too tired that is." 

> Cordelia brightened momentarily at the thought of one of her favourite past times before frowning. "It isn't one of your French films is it? 'Cause I'm into foreign films as much as the next ... well, I'm not really ..." 

> He smiled almost indulgently as he presented her with the video. "Relax Cordy." He frowned. "Those films aren't *that* boring, are they? I mean I really enjoyed the one with --"

> Cordelia let out an excited squeal. "The Patriot? You got The Patriot?!" Her eyes twinkled in the reflected light. "Hunk-o-rama! Heath Ledger? How did you know what to get?" She asked incredulously, half laughing and half squealing. 

> "I pay attention." He protested, a martyred expression overcoming his features. "You know, I've watched enough movies with you to know which men ..." he shook his head, "actors you appreciate. I'm not completely clueless." 

> "No, of course not." Cordelia paused as she considered. "So, how did you know what to get?" 

> Angel sighed. This was the part he had wanted to skip over. Didn't his demanding seer know when he didn't want to feel all ... embarrassed? 

> "Ah ..." He stalled. "I ... had to ask someone." He mumbled under his breath, hoping she wouldn't question him any longer. There were still many things he had yet to learn, one of which was to be okay with feeling all ... embarrassed. 

> But Cordelia had ears as sensitive as a cat's. She prodded mercilessly. "You ... asked someone? Like ... how?" 

> "I ..." How could he put it in a way that made him seem less inept at social interaction than he really was? "I ... I had to ask the girl at the video store which movies a girl would like." He said it in a rush of breath. He'd performed water tortures less painful than this.

> "And ... what did she say?" 

> Angel stuck his hands into his pockets. This was ... excruciating. But on the upside he was actually making Cordelia smile. Which was ... good. Even if it did entail this much pain. 

> He definitely had a lot to learn about making Cordelia happy.

> "She asked me whether you were into more ... masculine, rugged types like somebody Crowe or something, or whether you were into cute ... boyish ... types like Leo somebody, and I said that I really didn't know, but you seem to have liked that person from that Pearl Harbour movie we saw a few months back, and *then* she asked me which one, and I said I didn't know that there were two guys in that movie but I think I remembered you talking about that younger one because you said he looked really young and cute ..." Angel's voice trailed off as he caught the look of utter hilarity on his seer's face. 

> Cordelia couldn't hold it in any longer. She burst out laughing so hard she thought her sides were going to spill out from within her. Angel was so clueless ... but oh so sweet. So melt-in-her-mouth gorgeously sweet. 

> "Oh Angel, I love you!" She flew into his arms so spontaneously and so without warning that even his vampiric senses were almost not fast enough for him to react to it. But once in his arms he never wanted to let her go, as he buried his face into her soft, sweetly sensuous hair. This was definitely a moment to savour. 

> "I love you too Cordy. You know that, don't you?" He hoped she knew it. He resolved to say it more often to her. He probably didn't say it enough, what with being the serial brooder he was and all. 

> "You're the best." She grinned at him before grabbing the video out of his hands. She shoved it into her video player and turned around in one swift, graceful motion. "Sit down." She pushed him onto the couch. "You hungry?"

> "Uh ..." He was a little hungry, but there was the blood factor ...

> "Okay, I'll get you some blood." Before Angel could tell her not to go to any trouble, she had whirled about and was already in the kitchen. 

> "Cordy?" He got up and followed her into her small though well-equipped kitchen. "Shouldn't I be doing that? I mean, you're the one with the visions, you should rest."

> "You already got me food, remember?" She put a packet of blood into her microwave and switched it on. "Besides this friendship should be a two way deal, don't you think? It's no fun if you have to serve me all the time. If I needed a slave I'd hire one ... well, I would if I could afford it ... but that's totally not the point." She looked at him almost defiantly as she placed on hand on her hip. "I'm going to be there for you Angel, no matter how much you think you don't deserve it." She paused. "You weren't talking about the friendship, were you?"

> Angel shook his head, but it was good to know that Cordy would be for him no matter what happened. 

> The steady humming of the microwave punctuated the air. "Want me to get you a spoon for the ice cream?" Angel asked his seer. 

> "Sure." She smiled brightly. This was good ... a really good end to a really bad day. And she was glad that it was Angel that was making her feel good. 

(c) Vivian Ngan July 2001

   [1]: mailto:vivngan@iname.com



	3. Part Three

lessons3 ****

Learning His Lessons

By [Viv][1]

*~*~ **Part Three **~*~*

"Do you think we can do this?" Cordelia asked almost whimsically as the credits of the movie rolled. Ensconced in a tangle of arms and legs, neither Cordelia nor Angel wanted to move from the comfortable confines of Cordelia's couch for fear of losing the unbroken serenity of the last two hours. 

"Fight in the war?" Angel couldn't believe that he was doing this. Doing the extremely _normal_ activity of watching a movie in the arms of his beautiful seer, feeling _this_ good about life. He was mildly perturbed about feeling so contented. He was on a mission to save humanity wasn't he? On a mission to atone for his past sins, his past life as the Scourge of Europe, the torturer of souls, the vicious killer of innocents? What right had he to be feeling so many glorious hours of contentment, feeling the love and companionship of his beautiful friend beside him? This wasn't right. 

But then again, Angel was feeling so good right now he couldn't really bring himself to care. 

"No silly." Cordelia's friendly punch on the chest brought his thoughts back to the present. What had she been saying again? 

"Do ... what?" 

She untangled her legs from his that were still reclining on the edge of the coffee table and turned slightly to face him, tucking her legs underneath her. "This ... this friend thing we're doing." 

That grabbed Angel attention. He felt suddenly anxious. Was Cordelia having second thoughts? Maybe she should. Angel knew that no matter how great he made her feel, how much he was willing to take care of her and make her happy, he was still a vampire. And that couldn't be healthy for a normal, beautiful girl like Cordelia. 

It was sensible and right that she should have second thoughts. But did it have to make his stomach lurch so horribly? 

She explained. "Okay, I know we're living on demon central and life's pretty much as not-normal as it can get here in L.A, but I'm thinking that our definition of 'friendship' is probably more not-normal than not-normal, making it not actually normal and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't think we can be just friends and be okay with it." She looked at him expectantly. "You know?" 

"Huh?" Angel liked to think that he wasn't stupid by any stretch of the imagination, but Cordelia's little insane bouts of logic really puzzled him. "So ... you think we shouldn't be friends? Or we shouldn't, you know, be _friends_?"

She rolled her eyes. "Basically, what I'm saying is that ... we should define our friendship ... and you know, do the talking thing ..." 

Angel shifted so that he faced Cordelia more fully. He stretched his legs out in front of him as Cordelia waited, her eyes alight with an intense fire. She hadn't exactly meant to spring this on him so suddenly, but she realised that it had been nagging at her for the past few days. Sure they had agreed to do the 'friend' thing, but she knew deep down that they had just been biding time. Spending the entire weekend with Angel was really, really fun, but they needed to work out how the 'friend' thing should go in the long run. To make it work ... and to make it last. Because she definitely intended to be with Angel for a very, _very_ long time. 

"Okay ..." Angel struggled to keep the neutrality in his voice. He knew he was scared, scared of the almost impending rejection he naturally felt he deserved. In almost any other situation he would just run away, do something, _anything_ to avoid the outcome. But he couldn't here. As much as he didn't want to feel crushed and rejected, he had to stay - in the unlikely event that he would not actually be crushed and rejected. 

"Friends." He pursed his lips. "We ... decided that." 

"Yeah." Cordelia paused, absently twirling a strand of hair in her hand. "But are we ... you know ..." She looked at him questioningly.

"... Friends?" He ventured. 

Her face contorted with annoyance. "No! A couple, dumb ass, a couple!"

"Oh." Angel couldn't believe she had actually said it. A couple. He was certainly down with that. "Is that a problem?" 

"What?"

"Being ... you know ... a couple. Or something." He asked with hesitation. 

"Well _I_ have no problem with it ... do you have a problem with it?" 

He shook his head. "No, I'm ... I'm good with that. You're ... good with that?" 

"I'm good." Cordelia tittered nervously. "We sound silly." 

Angel smiled sheepishly in return before his face darkened. "Cordelia ... You have to think really think ... I mean, I'm a vampire."

She protested, "But a really cuddly one." 

"Yes but still a vampire." He unwound the tendril of hair she had been unconsciously playing with and took both of her smaller hands into his. "If we ... I mean, I really love being with you Cordy. You make me smile ... and laugh and ... I don't remember the last person that really made me do ... that." His intense chocolate brown eyes bored into hers with suppressed fire. "But it's ... it's not going to be easy being with me. I mean, I brood ... and let's not forget the blood thing which is so _not_ good for a normal girl like you, and you're young and beautiful and you should have a life with someone you can have Sunday picnics with and do other day-stuff with." 

"Oh no mister, you're not sneaking out of this so easily." Her tone was half playful, half distressed, and Angel realised that she liked him. She really, honest to goodness liked him. Vampire issues and all. "I love you and you said that you love me so we're going to be together whether you like it or not." She smiled as she replayed her inane remark in her head, her tone softening. "Angel I've never had anyone that cares for me the way you care. I mean think about it, I dated jocks mostly and what are the chances they're gonna think of anyone other than themselves?" Her face dropped as she contemplated their entwined hands. "And the only other ... well, Xander didn't really ... I mean, he was nice to me and stuff but I was never ... I was never the most important person in the world to him, you know? The closest I've come to feeling that way was with Doyle and ..." She sighed as she brought her gaze to meet Angel's. "And I _love_ feeling that way, you know? It probably makes me a selfish whatever, but you're the only one to make me feel that way so you can't just leave with your big almost-designer billowy coat swaying all Gone With The Wind behind you, okay?" 

"Okay." Was all Angel could squeeze out. If him being with Cordy even made her remotely happier than she was without him then who was he to argue with it? 

A few tantalising moments of crystal still silence descended on them as they revelled in their new found affirmation. Cordelia sighed happily into Angel's shoulder. This was the life. Relaxing from a hard day's work of having visions and fighting evil with her kind, gentle, sensitive, and unspeakably gorgeous vampire with a soul best friend slash whatever they were at the moment, and just enjoying life. This was great. She felt really great ... despite the visions, and the headaches. She had Angel, her life in L.A, her almost-acting career, and actual friends. 

"What are we going to tell the others?" She asked him suddenly. 

"Tell ... who?" 

"Wesley, Gunn and Fred, dumbass." She told him in exasperation. "What are we going to tell them?" 

"Do ... do we have to tell them anything?" 

"What, do you think we should keep this a secret? Do you think they'd freak out or something?" Cordelia paused, trying to visualise the group's reactions. "Okay, do you think Gunn and Fred would freak out?" 

"No, I mean ... no, I don't think we should keep it a secret." Angel twisted around in his seat and looked at her earnestly. "I mean, it's not ... I just meant that it's not something that's likely to be brought up during a normal conversation. I mean, it's not like we can go 'Hey guys, I think we've got a really big bad demon on our hands, and by the way me and Cordy here, we've got a thing but don't worry, we've got that pesky curse under control.' " He paused. "I just don't see it happening." 

"Well we don't have to make a big deal out of it." Cordy reasoned. "It's not like we're getting married and we have to make a really tasteful, full page society announcement or anything. Just ... they're our friends. Besides," she sighed, "it'd feel icky if we didn't let them know. Like we were doing something wrong or something. And we're not."

Angel's eyes lit up as he understood what she had been getting at. There was nothing he could do about his vampirism, but there was plenty he and Cordelia could do about having a healthy, happy friendship. Relationship. It was the least his beautiful seer deserved. 

"Okay, we tell them." He agreed quietly. "How?"

"I don't know." Her face dropped. "Maybe we could, you know bring them extra donuts tomorrow morning with a little note inside like a fortune cookie, except with donuts ... or we could arrange to get caught kissing, or ..."

" ... or we could just act like we're acting now," he wrapped his arms around her and drew her to his unbreathing body, "and let them draw their own conclusions. They're smart kids. They'll work it out." 

Cordelia took a moment to luxuriate in Angel's caring embrace before nodding. "Your plan sounds good." She yawned. "Geez I'm wacked. I think I'll be heading off to bed now." She stood up, stretching her lithe frame in the process before pausing and turning around. "You coming?" 

Angel stared at her, dumbfounded. "Coming ... where?" 

Cordelia resisted the urge to roll her eyes. God Angel could be so clueless sometimes. What did a girl have to do to sleep with her man? "To bed." 

"To ... Oh." He ran his hand over his hair sheepishly. Of course. Huh. 

"Unless of course you haven't brooded enough today and want to stay out here the _whole_ night. I mean, be my guest ..." 

"No, no ..." Angel interrupted quickly. No brooding for him. Somehow he really didn't feel like his ritual brooding tonight. Like he was going to choose brooding in a darkened room when he could be in bed with Cordelia ... well, sleeping. Sleeping was good. Sleeping was normal. And good. 

He got up off the couch and allowed himself to be led by Cordelia. He grinned. This was definitely the life. 

(c) Vivian Ngan July 2001

   [1]: mailto:vivngan@iname.com



	4. Part Four

lessons4 ****

Learning His Lessons 

By [Viv][1]

*~*~ **Part Four **~*~*

"No Cordy."

"But Angel ..."

"It's gross. And disgusting. And not to mention unhygienic. I mean ... you just can't."

Cordelia's eyes glittered dangerously in the dimly lit room. "I _can't_?" 

Angel involuntarily retreated a few steps. "Ah ... I meant ... you shouldn't Cordy, it's ... it's not right." 

Cordelia stomped her foot on the carpeted floor of her bedroom and pouted. "But I want to." 

Angel took one look at his seer across the bed who was now decked out in her sleepwear and sighed. He knew that she won a lot of fights using that luscious pout of hers, but he had to absolutely put his foot down on this one. He'd kill demons for her, sacrifice his own life to save hers, but ... he couldn't allow her to do this. 

"It's wrong." He said helplessly. 

"I don't care." She retorted. "This is my bed and I'll eat ice cream and potato chips on it if I want to." 

"But ... what if it drips onto the bed? And you know, there'll be crumbs. You'd have to clean it ... and I mean, why change the sheets when you don't have to?" He cajoled nervously. 

"I don't care Angel." She looked at him, a steely gaze creeping over her face as she climbed into the bed. "Do what you want. You can sleep on the couch outside. Or on the floor. Or whatever." 

Angel looked at her haplessly, took another look at the rather lonely looking couch in Cordelia's living room and sighed. What was a vampire to do? 

She looked at him expectantly, depositing a generous spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. She licked the spoon sensually, batting her eye lashes at him. She knew that eventually he would capitulate, and he knew that she knew it. He sighed again. It was interesting to know that no matter how in love you were with a person, there were still certain little annoying details about them that you just had to accept.

"Fine." Angel grumbled as he capitulated. "You know Cordy, I'm making an awful lot of sacrifices here for you. I mean," He looked down at his toned, athletic body, encased in a pair of silk boxers and white tank top. "I'm wearing *clothes* to bed. Which is ..." He gulped as unwanted images assaulted him, "... necessary for our current situation and all, but do you have any idea how constricting it gets for me? I mean ... it's claustrophobic." He pointed at a newly dropped chip remnant on her bed. "There. That's going to attract roaches and stuff. I've spent too much time living with rats and vermin in sewers to do that again." He took in a slightly agitated breath. "So I'm thinking that the least you could do is make a few sacrifices of your own, you know?" He looked at her expectantly. 

She gave him a dazzling Queen C smile as she allowed her eyes to roam over the impressive expanse of his body. "Believe me Angel, having you not naked is sacrifice enough for me." 

His annoyed expression gradually dissolved into a smile. Damn Cordelia. She always made him smile, even when he really didn't want to. 

Angel sighed. "Fine. Whatever." He plopped himself somewhat ungracefully onto the other side of the bed while Cordelia's curious eyes followed his every movement. 

"What?" 

"Nothing." She eyed him seductively. She couldn't believe that they were doing this. Angel and her, sharing a bed ... intentionally. Like a normal couple. Wow. Talking about her wildest fantasies coming true. Well, that wasn't exactly true ... her wildest fantasies featured Angel doing all sorts of NC-17 stuff. Which obviously wouldn't be happening here, courtesy of the whole curse deal. 

Cordelia suddenly sighed, making Angel frown with insecurity just as he gingerly placed his head on the pillow next to hers. 

"What?" He asked again, this time with more urgency. He felt decidedly strange at the moment, in Cordelia's room, in Cordelia's bed, acting for all the world like the normal couple they in fact, weren't. And it wasn't like they were pretending to be anything they weren't. It was just that Angel, after nearly a century of maniacal, pretty much consistent brooding had yet to learn to feel completely at ease in another person's company - even if that company was his beautiful seer. 

Angel felt as stiff as a board, unable to relax into easy domesticity. He shifted even more uncomfortably as he caught Cordelia curiously eyeing him in all his discomfort. 

"What?" He asked for the third time, defensive irritation colouring his voice. It was bad enough learning to live without brooding as his favourite past time for the last few months, he now also had to learn to relax in close company. 

"You okay?" She asked him quietly, surprising him with her gentle inquiry. 

"About what?" Now it was his turn to feel puzzled. 

She clarified, her intense gaze sinking right to the depths of his soul. "I meant, are you okay about this?" She gestured between the two of them.

"Course I am." Angel said immediately. 

"Really." Cordelia's glorious eye brows raised in protest. "Mr. broody boy who hasn't lived with another human being in oh, *never* feels 'okay' with all this? Really?" 

Angel's eyes cast downward. "Okay ... it's a little awkward for me. You know, this is ... I mean, I'm just not used to feeling this ..." he grappled for the right word. 

" ... Normal? Homey? Weird?" She finished off for him. 

He nodded. "Yeah. I mean, it's not like we're actually _living_ together or anything ... but it's ... close, you know?" 

She agreed. "Yeah, I'm getting that. I mean we're friends, then we're not, then we're *more* than friends, and now ... it's like, we're suddenly being all Mad About You, you know?" 

Angel looked at her blankly. "Ah ... no." 

Cordelia sighed as she tried elaborating. "Like we're suddenly being Mr. and Mrs. Joe Normal. Which we're not, what if the whole vampire and visions and fighting evil in L.A thing." She added as an afterthought. "And also with the 'Mr. and Mrs.' thing."

"Do you think ... it's wrong?" He asked her quietly. 

Cordelia leaned against the head board and sighed. "I don't think it's _wrong_ ... I mean, it's not like it's such a big deal. We're still fighting evil. I'm still the proud owner of these insane visions and you're still vampire guy. It's not like we're ever likely to forget _that_." She frowned before looking back at him hopefully. "It's not wrong to want a little happiness, is it Angel?" 

Angel looked back at her earnestly before saying emphatically, "No, it's not wrong Cordy." And it wasn't ... it really wasn't. 

Angel was so intent on covertly surveying Cordelia's shiningly radiant face and listening to the increasing crescendo of happiness in his heart that he was caught unprepared when she suddenly flung her tub of ice cream to the side and started earnestly tickling him. 

She tickled him, hands flying and flaying all over his muscularly smooth body as she explored it for hidden weaknesses. Angel stared at her incredulously. 

"Cordelia ... Cordelia I'm not ticklish." 

She ignored him and valiantly explored on, holding him prone in place by sitting on top of him. 

Much as Angel appreciated the rather pleasant sensation of Cordelia sitting on top of him, she had to stop. She was actually starting to dig her nails into his flesh now and the sensation was ... well, not that good. 

"Cordelia ... stop." She pouted as she let up. "I'm not ticklish." 

Cordelia whacked him on the chest as she grumbled. "You vamps are no fun." 

He shifted easily as he sat up despite having the weight of Cordelia on his hip. "Cordy it's not a vamp thing, it's a me thing. I've never been ticklish, even when ... even when I was human." 

The smile slipped from her face as she observed Angel's likewise disappear. "Bad memories?" 

He smiled sadly up at her. "No ... I guess, good ones." She sat back and observed him silently, giving him the space to continue. "Kathy. My sister ... She was always ticklish but I wasn't, so she could never get back at me for it..." Angel pursed his lips and sighed. "Is it okay if we don't ... go into this now?" He looked up at her with a deep, expressive sparkle in his chocolate brown eyes. "I'm still ... there's a lot of things you still don't know about me and ... I'll tell you eventually, it's just that ..."

Cordelia bent down and placed a sweet, gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. "That's okay. You've got a whole lifetime to tell me." 

Angel smiled gratefully as he encircled his arms around her frame, feeling her sink into him as he gave her a long, lingering kiss. A whole life time? Did she really mean it?

But all doubt was swept away by her fervent return of his kiss; it deepened and began to smoulder with the intensity and passion she could no longer contain. As she felt him returning that same passion she felt the force of their combined fire breach all restraints and just for an instant - all hell broke loose. 

She heard him faintly growl within the deep recesses of their kiss as he clamped her closer to him, his hands running under her loose fitting shirt to her back and hips where they slowly explored every dip and curve of her toned, lithe frame. Cordelia ran her hands almost frantically through his hair before letting them slide possessively over the length of his broad, muscular frame. She broke their kiss only to trail light, sensuous nips along his marble-smooth neck. Cordelia felt lost in a burgeoning sea of emotion as Angel bucked her slightly off him, gaining more leverage for himself as he straightened and dived into the crook of her neck, leaving a tingling trail of hungry kisses. She felt his hands travelling up and up, until ...

He stopped ... and laughed. What the hell? 

"Why're you laughing?" Her voice was muffled by his neck. She unwrapped her hands around him and pouted semi-seriously. "What's so funny broody boy?" 

"Nothing." Cordelia felt his hands retreat from under her shirt. "Ah ... we should probably stop now." He smiled regretfully as Cordelia continued to stare at him, her expression demanding further explanation. 

"It tickled." His angelic face broke into a mischievous grin, something Cordelia had not seen before. 

"What?" 

"That little nibbling thing you did ... here." His hand pointed to his neck as he continued to grin at her sheepishly.

Cordelia was fascinated. "Really? It tickled?" Her expression changed to one of impish concentration. "What, like this ...?" as she nibbled delicately on the crook of his neck, bringing forth a short burst of giggling from him. 

Cordelia couldn't help but laugh at him. Who knew that two hundred and forty-eight year old vampires with souls giggled so outrageously when tickled by their seer? 

(c) Vivian Ngan July 2001

   [1]: mailto:vivngan@iname.com



	5. Part Five

lessons5 ****

Learning His Lessons 

By [Viv][1]

*~*~ **Part Five **~*~*

Cordelia took a deep breath as she turned to face Angel who was standing rigidly beside her. "You ready?" 

"Ah ... yeah, pretty much." He paused, straightening his anxious frame. "You?" 

Cordelia shifted, uncomfortably tugging at the imagined crease on her shirt. "I ... Yeah I think so. I mean, ready as I'll ... never be." 

Angel gave her hand a reassuring squeeze as he looked deeply, meaningfully into her eyes. "We don't have to do this now you know. I mean, if you don't feel up to it ..." 

"We _have_ to Angel. If I chicken out now I'll never ..." She paused as she took another breath. "I want to do this. I really do." 

"Okay." Angel said quietly as he gazed at Cordelia, his expression of rising panic mirrored on her face. 

This was proving more difficult than he had thought. Telling the others about him and Cordelia had seemed achievable the night before. But now ... standing in the hallway outside his room, hearing the faint voices of Wesley and Gunn echoing in the lobby below, his still heart nearly trembled with anxiety and pent-up pressure. How would they react? What would they say? 

This was worse than going to hell. Okay, maybe just a fractionally less painful. 

What was the big deal anyway? Angel admonished himself. There would be some raised eyebrows on Wesley's part, Gunn would laugh or say something smart, Fred would stare with wide eyed wonder at them like she still stared at everything she saw in L.A ... No big deal. 

No big deal. He repeated over and over to himself. 

Yeah right. 

"Okay." Cordelia said again, this time with more bravado. "Of course I can do this. I've done harder things than this ... Going back to school after the whole rebar Xander kissing Willow and everyone finding out thing, and the whole Mayor wanting to have us for lunch at graduation thing .. " Cordelia's voice trailed off, hesitation once again colouring her voice. "This will be a piece of cake. Well, maybe more than a piece ..." 

Angel swallowed, his throat felt strangely parched. Big deal. He was a warrior for the Powers That Be dammit. He had averted apocalypses. He had survived Wolfram and Hart's psychotic scheme to break his sanity. He could handle this. 

"Don't worry Cordy, I'll be right here." He gave her small hand another reassuring squeeze. "We'll be fine as long as we know we're in this together." 

She nodded, as much to reassure herself as him. "Let's do it then." 

"Let's do what?" Wesley's clinically English voice made both Angel and Cordelia nearly jump out of their collective skins in surprise. Startled by their twitchy reaction, Wesley observed the pair more closely. "What are you two doing up here so early?" 

Cordelia could only stare, transfixed at Wesley's wide, inquiring eyes. For once in her life, she was speechless. Utterly and totally without speech. It was an incredibly uncomfortable feeling. 

"We ah ..." Angel's eyes flittered desperately between Cordelia's similarly panicked eyes and Wesley's curious expression. "We ... Cordelia wanted to do this, ah ... She wanted to show me this new outfit she just bought." He finished lamely. 

Wesley's face morphed into one of slight incredulity. "Angel ... It's eight o'clock in the morning." He looked askance at Cordelia, noting her unusually peaked expression. "Besides, I know for a fact that on principle Cordelia never gets up before nine if she can help it"

"I would for a really ... _huge_ ... really big ... sale." Cordelia interjected desperately. "There was this huge sale thing on at ah ... this really new place in Santa Monica and ah ... Did I mention it was a really huge sale?" 

The former Watcher looked from the vampire to the seer, an incredible yet strangely coherent possibility forming in his mind as three facts simultaneously struck him. 

One, Cordelia and Angel were standing very, very close together. 

Two, Angel was not in his room when Wesley and Fred had arrived at the Hyperion earlier that morning. 

Three, Angel was in the same clothes he had on when Wesley had bade him goodbye last night. 

Ergo, Angel and Cordelia were trying to hide the fact that they had spent the entire night together. 

Wesley smiled inwardly and silently congratulated himself. He was going to have so much fun with this. 

"Where are the bags?" Wesley interrogated them, folding his arms stubbornly across his chest. He was curious to see how far he could push them. 

"Huh?" 

He sighed, seemingly exasperated by Cordelia's puzzlement. "Your shopping bags?" He paused. "It was a 'huge' sale and you didn't buy anything?" 

"Oh ... that." Cordelia looked at Wesley blankly. "I ... I left them up in Angel's room. You know ... don't want to be cluttering up the office and all. Gotta have a clean work space." 

Cordelia groaned inwardly. And the Oscar for the lamest acting of the year goes to ... 

"So, where's Fred?" Angel cut off Wesley's interrogation of his seer as he observed her growing discomfort. Not that he was that comfortable himself ... what had been a fairly doable task earlier this morning seemed completely undoable now. 

"Oh, she went off to the University library to see if she could hunt up a specific tome I heard was housed there. Fascinating really, the amount of things one finds in L.A. It turns out that this tome, which was lost somewhere around the 15th to 16th centuries, may have been given over to an order of Spanish monks who later came over to the Americas around the time of ..." He let his voice trail off at their uncomprehending looks. "Ah, anyway, Fred's at the library." 

Angel nodded, stomach still slightly squeamish. Wesley looked as if he had no intention of letting up from his train of questioning.

But he was surprised by Wesley's next move. "Anyway, I guess I'll be going back downstairs. Files to read, cases to research." He looked at them inquisitively. "You coming? Unless of course, you haven't finished ... whatever you were doing up here? ..."

"What?" Cordelia's anxiety accented voice almost made Angel jump out of his skin for the second time that morning. "I'm done. I mean, we weren't really doing ... Not anything we shouldn't be doing ... I'm coming down now." She looked back at Angel desperately as she followed Wesley down the stairs, who seemed to empathise with her growing panic. The longer they left it, the harder it would get. 

Angel didn't know how they were going to tell the others. 

(c) Vivian Ngan July 2001

   [1]: mailto:vivngan@iname.com



	6. Part Six

lessons6 ****

Learning His Lessons 

By [Viv][1]

*~*~ **Part Six **~*~*

Cordelia stared mindlessly at the monitor before her, trying valiantly to keep up the appearance that she was, in fact, researching. She felt restless, her body almost writhing with pent-up energy and frustration. She couldn't understand why she and Angel felt so nervous about telling Wesley, Gunn and Fred about their ... thing. It wasn't as if the world was coming to an end. And besides, these people had grown to be her friends, her family. They were the people who were supposed to accept her, warts and all, without question. Not that she could ever _have_ warts, but still, they were supposed to accept them if she did. Which she didn't, and never would. 

Which was _so_ not the point. 

Cordelia suppressed a sigh as she covertly glanced at Angel, who was sitting stiffly at his new desk seemingly engrossed in a novel. His almost expressionless face betrayed no hint of distress, and it was all Cordelia could do to stop herself from marching over there and demand an explanation. Why wasn't he bothered by all this? Sure, he had said he was anxious about the whole thing, but when it came right down to it, was he really as anxious as she was? She narrowed her eyes. He looked just like his usual broody self. Black shirt, black pants, perfectly styled hair. His eyes calmly reading the small book perched on his hand, his brow furrowed slightly in concentration. 

She wanted to growl at his insensitivity. Hello, not worrying much? 

Cordelia suddenly found herself staring furiously at the vampire. Mr. Insensitivity, that was Angel. He should be at least as uncomfortable as she was, dammit. If she was this wiggy about how the others were going to take the news, then he at least should ... 

Her internal rant dissipated as he caught her furious gaze, his brow furrowing even more as he noted her unrepressed anger. Cordelia was momentarily satisfied with the expression of discomfort that crept over his features before feeling slightly guilty at herself. After all, this wasn't Angel's fault. He was probably just as uncomfortable as she was about the whole situation but unlike her, he had had centuries to perfect his facade of disinterest. There was no way Angel was feeling _nothing_ over this; she had learnt that much over the past few days. 

Angel felt the hostility drain from her face, replaced by an expression of utmost frustration. He knew exactly how she felt. If Wesley and Gunn weren't bantering around in front of them right now heatedly discussing the merits of American and English culture, he would waste no time running over and reassuring her that everything was going to be okay. It would just take some time. 

Instead, all he could give his beautiful seer by way of comfort was a small, supportive smile. 

He saw her visibly brighten up before being interrupted by Gunn.

"What do you guys think?" 

Cordelia broke her gaze from Angel's before a puzzled expression diffused over her face. "Huh?" 

Gunn exasperatingly said, "About movies, girl. Where've you been the whole day?" 

Cordelia still felt loss. "Movies? They're ... good." She glanced once more at Angel. "What about them?" 

Gunn gave up. "Aw, forget it girl. You're clearly in no mood to diss the English today. What's up? You seem a little lost." 

Cordelia covered her confusion as she found herself again glancing at Angel. What could she say? That she was having a major blockage in conversational genius because she and Angel were having a thing and they couldn't find a way to tell them? "Nothing ... much. You know, just the usual headchey badness. Not ... anything else." 

Gunn's eyes narrowed as he caught the glance Cordelia threw to Angel. He knew that there had been something going on with Cordy the whole day; she had been listless and unresponsive, and totally unlike her usual self. She hadn't even tried to argue with him when he had grabbed her share of the donuts this morning. It had been wacky, and a little scary. 

And then there was Angel. The dead guy seemed way more deader than usual today, not participating in any conversations with them like he had tried to lately. He hadn't even batted an eyelid when Gunn had suggested that they use all the petty cash to throw themselves a huge 'nothing's going on in the neighbourhood' kinda party. 

Gunn wasn't crazy, and he wasn't stupid. Something weird ass was going on with Cordy and Angel. Something big, and possibly weird. 

Gunn shook his head with seeming disinterest before turning back to Wesley. "I'm making a run down to get some _real_ coffee. Get you guys anything?" 

Wesley nodded, "The usual please, if you don't mind that is." Gunn cracked a smile at his friend and turned to Angel and Cordelia. "Angel, Cordy?" 

Both Angel and Cordelia shook their heads as Gunn shrugged. There was weirdness going on, that was definite. And Gunn was going to find out what it was ... _after_ he had his caffeine. 

***

Gunn swaggered back into the Hyperion lobby, startling Cordelia and Angel in the process. The seer and the vampire were huddled next to the ottoman having, to Gunn's observation, a slightly heated conversation. Their voices broke off as they saw Gunn sauntering by. 

Giving them a tight smile, he passed them wordlessly and sauntered into Wesley's office, carefully closing the door behind him. 

"Wes?" Wesley finally looked up from the case files strewn across his desk and looked up at Gunn expectantly. 

"Thanks for getting the coffee Gunn." He continued to look up at Gunn, who had slid open the door slightly in order to ensure that Cordelia and Angel were nowhere near the office. Wesley came around from his desk to join his friend, casually observing through the crack in the office door that Angel and Cordelia were sitting on the ottoman on the other side of the lobby. He turned back to Gunn quizzically. 

"Gunn, what are you doing?" He finally asked. 

Gunn took one last look at Angel and Cordelia before sliding the door silently closed. "You been noticing some weirdness going on between those two today?" 

Wesley's confusion cleared up instantly. "Oh that." He said deprecatingly. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I _had_ noticed something decidedly unusual this morning." He guided Gunn to the far corner of his office, in case Angel and Cordelia was suddenly seized by the need to eavesdrop on their conversation. "When Fred and I got here this morning, Angel wasn't in his room." 

Gunn frowned. "Yeah, but that don't mean anything. He's always out chasing some demon or other. Maybe he got wind of something going down and decided to take care of it himself." 

"Yes but later on, after I had sent Fred off to the University library to research some books, I found both Angel _and_ Cordelia outside his room." 

"So ... he probably gave her a lift to work or something. You know Angel. He's so Cordy-whipped I'm surprised he doesn't have whiplash." 

"Yes, but ..." Wesley leaned in conspiratorially. "He was dressed in exactly the same clothes as last night. And they told me the reason that Cordy was there so early was because there had been a sale supposedly somewhere in Santa Monica, but she had no bags to account for it."

Gunn nodded. "That girl _never_ leaves a sale without buying anything. I think it's against her religion or something." He gulped as a new possibility began to dawn on him - Angel and Cordelia ... together. "Do you think ...?"

Wesley nodded. "I certainly do." 

"Wow." He took a moment to absorb the news before shrugging his shoulders. "Is that what all the weirdness was about? I thought that at least we'd get some action before I head back to the neighbourhood today." He shrugged again as another thought occurred to him. "Do you think they're wigging out 'cause they don't know what to tell us?" 

Wesley smiled devilishly at his younger comrade. "I certainly hope so." 

"Damn you're evil." Gunn paused as a similar grin broke out on his face. "English, you're the man!" They did their secret handshake, both men's faces grinning delightfully. "How long do you think they'll hold out?"

"Oh I don't know." Wesley sat back down into his comfortable chair. "Another day at the most. They're going to crack soon, I'm sure of it." 

"I don't know man ..." Gunn trailed off. "I mean, Angel's got them brooding skills honed right down to perfection." His eyes glinted in the dimly lit office. "I say about a week." 

"Really?" Wesley's interest was peaked. "Care to make a little wager on that?" 

"You're on English." Gunn grinned, his expression matching Wesley's smile of anticipation. "Loser sings the winner's song of choice at Caritas. In front of a packed house." He qualified. 

Wesley paused before accepting Gunn's challenge. "You're on." 

"You better be prepared for inevitable defeat, English." Gunn confidently said as he slid the office doors open. "Looking forward to you singing 'Like A Virgin' with the entire demon population of L.A looking on." 

Wesley smirked at the retreating Gunn. "We'll see." He said quietly to himself. "We'll see." 

(c) Vivian Ngan July 2001

   [1]: mailto:vivngan@iname.com



	7. Part Seven

lessons7 ****

Learning His Lessons 

By [**Viv**][1]

*~*~ **Part Seven **~*~*

Angel subtly stared at Cordelia as she turned around to ensure that Gunn was still ensconced inside Wesley's office. Her frustration had been building up to such an extent that by the time Gunn had left for coffee that afternoon, she was about ready to explode. As soon as she had seen Gunn disappear out the door and Wesley retreat into his office, she had hissed and pulled Angel aside for much needed venting. 

Her mind flittered back to the present. "Angel." She whispered urgently. "What are we going to do?" 

"I don't know." Angel shrugged his shoulders as he sat down on the ottoman beside her. "It's ... hard. And I think Wesley's on to us." 

"Duh." Cordelia whacked him on the chest, causing Angel to start aloud. 

"Ow." 

Cordelia looked on unregretfully. "Of course he does. He's research detective guy, and we totally froze up there." She whacked him on the chest again, eliciting another protest from the vampire. "And you didn't help. Trying on clothes? Shopping? Could you have come up with something lamer?"

"Not to go all schoolyard, but _you_ came up with the shopping thing." He protested, defying Cordelia's glare. "And we should get back to the issue here."

"The issue ... right." Cordelia resignedly leaned back onto the ottoman and sighed. "This is so ... it's giving me headachy badness Angel, and it shouldn't. I mean, we're happy, right? And this is a good thing, and ..." She sighed and began to rub her temples. "Why does it have to be so complicated?" She exploded as she continued to rub her temples vehemently. 

Angel lifted her up slightly off the ottoman in order to wrap himself around her tension-filled frame. He gently guided her hands from her temples and replaced them with his cool, masculine ones on her face, rubbing her temples rhythmically in a gentle, swaying motion. Cordelia instantly felt herself calming down, her frustration and irritation subsiding into oblivion as she let herself be overtaken by the gentleness of Angel's caressing hands, the strength and refreshing coolness of its feel permeating her headache-riddled head. 

Angel heard her sigh of contentment and smiled, glad that he was able to alleviate her vision-related suffering. He felt her body pressing against his as she succumbed to the gentle swaying sensation induced by his impromptu massage, her head coming to rest backwards on his shoulder. Angel leaned back against the ottoman himself and closed his eyes, enjoying the intimate sensation of running his hands rhythmically over his seer's temples, then down to the back of her neck, and finally coming to rest on her finely sculpted shoulders, kneading the muscles knotted with tension slowly, almost sensually. 

Cordelia felt his hands travelling down to her shoulders as a contented sigh escaped from her lips. This felt good ... _really_ good. She felt her body succumbing entirely to Angel's cool, strong touch and sank deeper into his embrace, revelling in his touch. 

"Angel ..." The gentleness of his hands almost causing her to groan in pleasure. "... That feels ... really good ... " 

He smiled into her hair, inhaling its intoxicating, fruity sweetness. There had always been something extremely sensual about Cordelia, something that oozed naturally out of her vibrant, sunny character that he had only just realised had captured him from their very first meeting in L.A. Angel marvelled at the way things had happened. Even at two hundred and forty-eight, life still managed to surprise him, and for that Angel was glad. 

Angel felt Cordelia rest both of her small hands limply on his thighs, caressing them gently, still lost in a haze of tranquillity. He sighed softly as he allowed the warmth of her slight touch to permeate the thin fabric of his pants and course through his cold, dead skin. 

He looked down at the breathtakingly beautiful features of his seer as he felt an almost electric arousal tingle the length of his body. All of a sudden he was acutely aware of the weight of Cordelia's body against his own, every space between them filled with Cordelia's fragile weight. 

He slowly stopped his mesmerising kneading of her shoulders. His hands began to roam almost of their own accord down her body, lightly caressing her chest before sensually encircling her lithe frame, pressing her body more forcefully against his and making her breathing catch slightly in anticipation. He tightened his hold around her waist as he lowered his head down to the erotic sight of her bared neck, her skin mesmerisingly smooth and unmarked by imperfections. Angel slowly began to trace his tongue over her smooth skin as Cordelia leaned back further into him, exposing her neck even more to the tantalising caresses of the vampire. 

A groan of pleasure escaped her lips before Cordelia had the presence of mind to suppress it. Her grip on Angel's thighs tightened as she began to feel the bulk of his obvious arousal pressing against her, and her own heightened pleasure was guaranteed when she felt Angel bring one of his hands underneath her top and begin to caress her breasts with his gentle touch. The effect of his cool hands on her increasingly warm skin was driving her nearly incoherent with desire, but somehow, in the still corners of Cordelia's mind, she knew that there was no danger of things getting out of hand here. There was just something so innately loving and sensual about what they were doing now as opposed to their first encounter days ago on the floor of her apartment; that somehow amidst the almost uncontrollable sensations they were feeling there was still an element of control. She and Angel were both well aware of the dire consequences of transgressing the boundaries delineated by the curse, and neither wanted any badness to ensue from it. Everything was good. 

Safe as houses. 

Suddenly Cordelia's eyes snapped open as she heard the door to Wesley's office slide open, and she felt Angel tense behind her. They flew abruptly apart as Cordelia saw Gunn stepping through the doors, smirking to himself. Angel ran to the counter and pretended to be engrossed by a magazine as Cordelia hurriedly picked up a discarded rag and began to sweep imaginary dust from the hotel stairs, her breathing less irratic than it had been a minute ago. 

Gunn's eyes narrowed as he spied Angel leaning with feigned casualness against the counter, and he carefully concealed a smile at the sight. 

"Man I'm bored." He looked pointedly to Cordelia and Angel. "What have you guys been up to?" 

"Reading." 

"Dusting." They said, almost simultaneously. 

Gunn laughed inwardly. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen this coming. Damn, he had to start paying more attention to things around here. 

"Really?" Gunn asked Angel incredulously, eyeing the magazine in the vampire's hands. "You developed a taste in weddings there? And how cool is it that you can read upside down?" 

Angel looked down at the magazine he was holding and couldn't believe his bad luck. Not only was the magazine in his hands upside down, it also happened to be 'Modern Bride'. 

He slammed the open magazine closed and threw it with disgust onto the counter as he glared at the smirking Gunn. He had a creeping suspicion that Gunn had already been clued in by Wesley that something was up with him and Cordelia and was looking for a way to break them. 

Angel was fed up with this. This hadn't been a big deal until he and Cordelia had _made_ it a big deal. It was right and good that he and Cordy were ... together. They shouldn't be afraid at how Wesley, Gunn or Fred would react. They were practically family. Angel and Cordelia shouldn't be afraid to tell the guys anything. 

And besides, what the hell was a bridal magazine doing in their office anyway? 

He looked quizzically at Cordelia, who had discarded the rag and was slowly walking towards Angel, nodding imperceptibly in his direction. Angel took it as a sign of approval of what he was about to do. 

"Gunn, can you get Wesley out here?" Angel's expression was serious. "We have to tell you guys ... something." 

Gunn raised his brows in slight surprise before fetching Wesley from his office. It didn't take long for Gunn to reappear with the former Watcher in tow. 

"Gunn informed me that you ... had something to tell us?" Wesley asked gently, carefully keeping the feeling of elation from his voice. 

"Ah ..." Angel looked across to Cordelia who was now by his side. "There's this ... thing we have to tell you guys." Angel swallowed. "Me and Cordelia." He swallowed again. "We ah ... we have a thing." 

"What thing?" Gunn asked, stalling for time. Maybe if he made them uncomfortable enough they would stop the big announcement. He silently cursed himself for noticing the magazine thing a few minutes before. He definitely did _not_ want to sing a song of Wesley's choice in front of a packed Caritas any time soon. He shuddered at the thought. 

But it was not to be for Gunn as Angel elaborated, discomfort more than tingeing his voice. "Cordelia and I ... we're kinda ... together. You know, in a ..." He looked to Cordelia for help. 

"'In a dating, can't keep our hands off each other but fully aware of the curse' kinda way." Cordelia stepped in forcefully. "And you guys better ... accept it. I mean, it's totally none of your business, but we thought ... we wanted you guys to know. So it's out in the open and all, you know?" 

Cordelia and Angel waited with baited breath, their minds panicking with possibilities. What if Wesley and Gunn thought it was a bad idea? Or worse still, what if they laughed in their faces? 

"Neat." Gunn said nonchalantly. 

"Well ..." Wesley's voice trailed off, unsure of how to respond. "Well ... of course both of you know about the ramifications of the curse, better than anyone else here I'll wager." Angel and Cordelia both nodded emphatically. 

"Good, good ..." Wesley turned to Gunn and finally let the smirk that had been threatening to escape for the past few minutes form on his face. "And I am looking forward to seeing you singing ... I think we'll stick with the '80's ..." Wesley's face screwed up in concentration. "I think you singing 'I Touch Myself' would be rather ... interesting. _In front_ of a packed house of course." 

Gunn rubbed his head as he felt a churning sensation forming at the pit of his stomach. Damn Wesley for being so confident about the bet. 

"That's it?!" Cordelia almost burst their collective eardrums by her squeal, her bottled up frustration boiling over. "That's it? Angel and I have been worrying about telling you guys this all day and all you can say is 'good' and 'neat'?!" 

Wesley looked at her calmly, the voice of reason and rationality. "Cordy, what do you want us to say?" 

She spluttered. What did she want them to say? Wasn't this the best thing that they _could_ have done, just accept it and move on? "Well ... aren't you worried about ... you know, stuff? The ... curse and the vamp thing ...?" 

"Well ..." Wesley looked from Cordelia to Angel, the vampire's face one of irritation at having wasted so much time worrying about the guy's reactions. "I'm sure that you two would have thought long and hard about the possible consequences of such a relationship, and as I said before, I'm sure you both are fully aware of the fine line that Angel has to walk every day of his life." He paused before continuing. "I trust the two of you implicitly." 

Angel and Cordelia took a moment to absorb the implications of Wesley's statement. Cordelia couldn't believe that after all the worrying over how her friends were going to accept she and Angel being together, it ended up being this easy and pain-free. She looked over to Angel, her eyes shining delightfully for the first time that day. She could be with her vampire all the time now, with no need to hide it. 

Cordelia's eyes narrowed dangerously as another thought struck her. "What do you mean, Gunn has to sing? Why does he have to sing?" 

Wesley grew squeamish under the seer's penetrating gaze. "Ah ... We ah ..." 

Gunn jumped in. "We had a bet." 

"A bet?" Angel's voice was deceptively neutral. "A bet about what?" 

Gunn raised his eyebrows at Wesley, who reluctantly explained. "We had a wager about how long it would take for you two to tell us about ... well, the two of you."

"Yeah, English said you'd crack within a day, and I said that it'd take at least a week." He sighed resignedly. "And now I have to sing." 

Cordelia eyes glinted as she advanced on the hapless pair. "You mean you guys knew that we -" she looked to Angel, "and you didn't let us know? And, and ..." Cordelia was so bothered she couldn't she almost stumbled into incoherency. "You let us get all worried about how you guys were going to react when the whole time you two were just ... just ..." She let her voice peak into a scream, "You just let us suffer?!" 

Wesley tried to get a word in amongst her tirade. "Well, I was only sure this morning -"

"This morning?!" Cordelia made no attempt to reign back the pitch of her voice. "Look at the time Wesley! It's almost five! That's ... that's ... I'm so mad at the moment I can't even add but that's a hell of a lot of hours Watcher boy!" 

The hotel remained eerily silent in the wake of Cordelia's tirade. She was partly gratified to see that both Gunn and, in particular, Wesley were exhibiting the appropriate level of remorse even as she felt her remaining anger dissipate. 

Cordelia was still breathing deeply from her verbal assault of Wesley and Gunn when she curiously asked, "Gunn's singing 'I Touch Myself'?" She giggled at the image as she snuck under Angel's arm. "Does he have to mime it as well?" 

Wesley's expression transformed into one of gleeful mirth. "I'm sure that can be arranged ..." 

"Oh no way, man." Gunn protests were drowned out by hearty laughter from his three friends. 

Wesley looked curiously at Cordelia, who was now familiarly tucked under Angel's protective arm. "Look, I'm sure it'll take some getting used to ..." He looked significantly between Cordelia and the more sombre looking Angel, "And I day say I'm speaking for Fred, Gunn and myself when I say that it's not going to be a problem for the team either. Lord knows you two deserve to be happy," his eyes met Angel's grateful ones, "and we're all family here ... more or less ..." The Englishman blushed with the amount of emotion he was showing but he plodded on. "We're ... well, I'm extremely happy for you." 

Wesley gave Angel and Cordelia a brief smile of friendship before saying matter-of-factly to Gunn, "Friday night good for you Gunn? I have it on good authority that Fred is also going to be free that evening." The former Watcher grinned evilly, "Gives you enough time to perfect your repertoire."

"Repertoire?" Gunn sounded slightly alarmed. "I ain't doing no repertoire English. It's just one song, and I'm only doing it 'cause it was a bet, although now that I think about it ..." 

Angel shifted his attention from his bickering friends to his radiant seer safely ensconced in his arms. He took in the intoxicating sweetness of her hair, her features, her sparkling eyes, her essence ... and inhaled deeply. For the first time in a long time, Angel felt the calmness of sheer and utter contentment. 

In that moment of realisation the knowledge that he had unwittingly been searching for uncurled before him like a bud flowering in spring - that as long as Cordelia was by his side, he would be okay. Cordelia was his friend, his anchor to humanity, his life, his love. She was his guide, a bright light in the darkness of his soul. 

Cordelia sensed his gaze on her and threw a dazzling smile at him, not letting up until he felt his face melt into a similar expression of happiness. She was his and he was hers, and that was the way he knew it should be. She would be there for him and he would be there for her ... always. 

Always. 

{END}

(c) Vivian Ngan July 2001

   [1]: mailto:vivngan@iname.com



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